The Legend of Sir Chester Nutt
(or, Thank God for Karma, She’s Less of a Bitch than We Thought)
One day in your car for a whirl,
You swerved to avoid a squirrel.
He swore on his life
That he’d make it right,
Then he went off to train with the girls.
Xena taught him to use a sword,
And Wonder Woman her golden cord.
And he trained his might
To become overnight
The squirrel who quite loudly roared.
Then one night you are held up with knives
And you rightfully fear for your life.
You squirm and you struggle
With this frightful big muggle
And then suddenly, that squirrel arrives.
He’s a great sight for you where you cower
Defeating your foe with great power!
With a whack and a thrust,
He’s the hero to trust,
Defending you in your dark hour.