Tag Archives: sandwich

Why the Dream of the Sandwich Never Dies

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Since the dawn of lunch, roughly the mid-eighteenth century, when John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, too busy gambling with his friends to eat a real meal, asked his valet to bring him some meat in between two slices of bread, people have appreciated the portability of the sandwich.

The two places where I work are both nearby a Rebecca’s and an Au Bon Pain, so you can imagine that I have been eating a lot of sandwiches recently, some of them remarkably better than others. And just when I finally find a sandwich I can fall in love with, the place changes the menu, and not for the better. And even when you get the same sandwich on Friday, for example, that you also got on the previous Tuesday, the person who makes it can make all the difference. (Note to Au Bon Pain: mustard is a condiment, not a soup. The same goes for lemon aioli.)

Disappointments abound, but humans are aspirational creatures. If we weren’t, the species would have pretty much petered out by now, given how often love fails. And we can’t even blame Disney for our apparent optimism. When was the last time you heard a bunch of forest animals singing about the happy ending that was surely in the human characters’ future: to wit, a perfect sandwich? (Okay, the closest thing I can think of to this would be the animated film, Over the Hedge, where the animals go through the humans’ trash like connoisseurs.)

And I just discovered that “Club Sandwich” means that there is an extra piece of bread in the middle, a hundred needless calories where there could be Meaningful Filling of Actual Substance. Harrumph.

Weird Coincidence Number 37

So lately as I have been waiting impatiently for CBS to bring Person of Interest Season 5 back, or at the very least tell us when it is coming back—March? May? Honestly, CBS, you produce a kickass show and then you make the fans crazy by not giving it to us. They have all but cancelled it, making a short season and keeping it in somebody’s vault somewhere. So, to encourage them to bring it back, I have been heroically binge-watching Seasons 2-4 on Netflix, and just a few days ago, watched the episode where Finch (Michael Emerson) very precisely orders a complicated sandwich from a deli in Chinatown, which seems odd, because why would you order a pastrami sandwich (with two kinds of mustard and “enough pepperoncini to create digestion issues in even the strongest constitution” but with no mayonnaise because “if there’s even a trace, it will render the sandwich useless and we’ll have to start the whole process over again and I’m sure neither one of us want that”) from a Chinese deli?

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And how do you render a sandwich useless? That is actually easier to answer, as it is meant to be a peace offering for a friendly former government assassin, Sameen Shaw (Sarah Shahi) whom the gang was forced to drug and handcuff to the bench to keep her from going off to help the gang after her cover has been blown and the Evil Artificial Intelligence could kill her if they find her. And nothing renders a peace offering useless like mayonnaise. Duh. Even I know that.

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The thing about all this is that, as Wikia explains, “Finch refers to the sandwich he brings to Shaw as a ‘Beatrice Lillie.’ Beatrice Lillie was a comic actress. Her final role was in the 1967 film Thoroughly Modern Millie, where she played the house mother at a women’s rooming house who is actually the leader of a white slavery ring based in New York’s Chinatown, thus the name of the sandwich.” This isn’t a very good explanation, but that isn’t my point.

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My point is that, not knowing this connection, I just watched Thoroughly Modern Millie last night and have the damn theme song stuck in my head, because of course anything Julie Andrews sings is going to be stuck in my head for life, especially if she sings it while dressed like a 1920s flapper.

Thoroughly Modern Millie

There are those
I suppose think we’re mad
Heaven knows the world is gone
To wrack and to ruin

What we think is chic, unique, and quite adorable
They think is odd and “Sodom and Gomorrable”
But the fact is everything today is thoroughly modern

Check your personality,
Everything today makes yesterday slow
Better face reality- it’s not insanity, says Vanity Fair
In fact, it’s stylish to raise your skirt and bob your hair

In the rumble seat, the world is so cozy- if the boy is kissable!
And that tango dance they wouldn’t allow?
Now is quite permissable!

Good-bye, good-goody girl, I’m changing and how?
So beat the drums cuz here comes thoroughly modern Millie now!

Everything today is thoroughly modern
Bands are gettin’ jazzier, everything today is starting to go
Cars are gettin’ snazzier
Men say it’s criminal what women’ll do
What they’re forgetting is, this is 1922!

Have you seen the way they kiss in the movies?
Isn’t it delectable?
Painting lips and pencil lining your brow
Now is quite respectable!

Good-bye, good-goody girl, I’m changing and how!
So beat the drums ‘cuz here comes
Thoroughly modern Millie now!

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Someone on Facebook recently pointed out that the 20s are coming back and we should bring back the clothes and music. Well, maybe the music anyway. But watching this ridiculously (and casually) racist and sexist comedy, I think there are a whole bunch of things we will happily leave behind.