
So the other day, I went back to a poem I had started about Callisto, Xena’s arch-nemesis. This one is about episode 2.7 Intimate Stranger, where Xena and Callisto get their bodies switched by one of the gods, primarily because Lucy Lawless had broken her pelvic bones in a fall from a horse she was practicing stunts on for the Tonight Show. It was a great choice, not only because it is always fun to see characters we know switch (Enver Gjokaj is a genius at this; check out the Joss Whedon series Dollhouse), but because it pointed out how similar these two women are. With the right (or wrong, really) set of circumstances, they actually could have been each other: Callisto the warlord who set a village afire that would turn the orphan Xena into a psychopath. We like them better as they are, because let’s face it, Callisto is the BDVE (Best Damn Villain Ever), with her creepy line delivery and spidery physicality.
So anyway, I wrote version 1.0 below and did not think much about it. But then I was looking at the previous poem I wrote about Callisto, with the first two lines:
“As children we come to experiences bone to bone,
with no kind skin to muffle the uproar. Imagine:”
I realized that the new poem was at least a full inch thinner, 2 1/2 inches, than the old one, which has line lengths of 3 1/2 inches. Well, the thing is, at 5’ 8” and 120 pounds, one of the first things you notice about Hudson Leick is how thin she is, an impression fostered by her costume being even more revealing than Xena’s, especially at her midsection.
Know Your Enemy, Know Yourself: X. Reflects on C., v.1.0
…
In the night season, I dream memories
Misremembered, death in the form of
My perfect nemesis, a woman born
In the fire that killed her family. She is
Me. And I did create her as she claims,
Though it was not my hand that lit
The spark that tore her world away.
She revels in her pain. I did that
Once, as she does, and spread it
Far and wide: if I suffer, so too must
Everyone. I will wring out the world
Like a map weeping blood. I am
Her now, our minds and bodies
Switched by the gods in their infinite
Unfairness. My enemy is me. I look
In the river and the body that I know
Does not look back. She promised
Once to take away everything
I loved, my friends, family, horse,
Reputation, everything it took me
So many years to win back.
Now in her body I must race
Against time, again, to stop her.
Both of us suffer from my monumental
Guilt. Like a crashing wave, once
It starts, there is no stopping it.
So then I thought about a poem I wrote many years ago titled Cancer Barbie, using the image of a Barbie whose hair as been loved off, a là The Velveteen Rabbit, to talk about cancer as I have seen friends experience it. Given that the image is Barbie, the shape of the poem really matters, so I tried to make a poem about Barbie look like Barbie, to wit:
Cancer Barbie
for Jackie, Anita, Judy
…
Some
little girl
has loved
this doll
completely, loved her
long blonde hair
right off
just the
way these
chemicals
coursing
through
your body
love you down
to the very follicle
love you right
all
the
way
down
to
your
roots.
…
At first, I thought I could do a similar thing by centering what I have here as version 2.0, but it ended up looking like, depending on how generous you want to be, a stubby gingerbread man or something my cat coughed up. So forget the centering. What the erratic breaks and short line lengths do is to make the voice of the speaker, in this case Xena inside Callisto’s body, sound more erratic. I can’t decide if the body you are in should decide your voice or if it is only the mind. In that case, I should go with Version 1.0 for this, but if I find a way to write a poem using Callisto’s voice, regardless of which body she is in, I will totally use this style. So let me know: which do you prefer, version 1.0 or 2.0 and why?
Know Your Enemy, Know Yourself: X. Reflects on C., v.2.0
…
In the night season, I dream
memories misremembered,
death in the form of
…
my perfect nemesis, a woman
born in the fire
that killed her family. She is
…
me. And I did create her
as she claims, though it was not
my hand that lit the spark
…
that tore her world away.
She revels in her pain. I did that
…
once, as she does,
and spread it far
and wide: if I suffer, so too
must everyone.
…
I will wring out the world
like a map weeping blood.
…
I am her now, our minds
and bodies switched by the gods
in their infinite
…
unfairness. My enemy is me.
…
I look in the river and the body
that I know does not look back.
She promised once to take away
…
everything I loved,
my friends, family, horse,
reputation, everything it took me
…
so many years to win back.
Now in her body I must race
against time, again,
…
to stop her. Both of us suffer
from my monumental
guilt. Like a crashing wave,
…
once it starts, there
is no stopping it.
…
Spilecki, Susan. “Cancer Barbie,” Midwest Poetry Review. Summer 2002.